Learning Lessons

Just as God had ministered to me through Spike's life, I knew He had something for me through Spike's death. Pain only happens for a reason, I just had to look and find it. A quote from a book I had just finished reading... "The worst days can actually turn out to be our best days if we learn the lessons God is trying to teach us. He wants us to learn to see bad experiences through the good we have gained from them." I wanted to learn the lesson, to gain the good from this "worst" day. Another quote, also from the same book, "My confidence in God is not contingent upon my circumstances. My confidence is contingent on the character of God. My circumstances may not make sense, but I know God is planning His work and working His plan." (The book is In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day by Mark Batterson.) Several months ago, Cary used Spike as an illustration when he was teaching on a Wednesday night. He was talking about worship, and he told about how Spike acted when I would come in the door. He would jump (even in his old age) dance, and pant, and carry on, focus only on me, always making a scene. Because I was the one receiving that worship, that really was a very clear picture for me, I related very well, and I thought about it often. In those early days after losing Spike, when I was still pretty much in shock, I asked God "What am I supposed to do with this? How do I work through it all?" And, even with a bit of attitude, I asked, "Just what do You want me to do now?" He told me "WORSHIP." My first thought was that picture that Cary had painted of Spike. Every time a wave a grief would come, I would think about the picture of Spike looking up, with the wind in his face and how he worshiped me. I have tried very hard to turn that around and learn to worship God with just as much energy and abandon as Spike worshiped me. It has been a process, something I am learning and something He continues to try to teach me. I love how when God really wants you to "get" something, He sends it to you from every unexpected direction. First, from a song. Heard it before, sang it before, but the words had new meaning.


Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing you praise

In my heart, in my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring you praise
From the inside out of my soul
Lord my soul cries out

Over and over those words have gone through my head. Spike knew how to lose himself in praise! LOSING myself in bringing YOU praise. Then I walked in the girl's bathroom one day and found all kinds of worship information written on cards, taped to the bathroom mirror. I'm guessing God has been talking to Kaylee about worship too. Now I go in there JUST to read the cards and remind myself of that good information! And then, last Wednesday night, Cary talked about worship. "When we don't worship, it's like coming to a party with a gift...and leaving with it!" Worship is what I was created for! If I don't worship, the ROCKS will cry out! Worship is all I have to offer, it's my only gift I have to bring! Worship is surrendering my will to His. So, in a nutshell, what in the world am I saying? It's all about Him, and just maybe a little 8 pound dog that shared his life with our family came to teach me a lot more about worship than I could ever have learned any other way.