Spiritual Emphasis Week

I came to love Spiritual Emphasis Week at ESC when I was teaching there. During the week, they have chapel everyday, and just really pour a lot of effort into making the week special. I really miss being a part of it, so when I can, I try to go. This morning I met our friends Michelle and Claire for a bagel before we were off to the school. Claire's sister, Grace, came to sit with us. Grace got chosen to go and help at the front. Grace is the cute little blonde, the second one walking down the aisle. We are so blessed to be a part of these little girl's lives. What a joy to watch them grow in every way! Today the story was about Stephan, the first martyr. It was a great lesson, and good to be with my friends!

Kaylee's Homecoming 2007

We did it! I got Kaylee's dress hemmed this week after I got home, and right now she is at her first homecoming! This is a picture of her support team this evening! She has a great source of big sisters...Shannon, Megan, Carissa and Jen! Everyone had to come and see the results and she had to have pictures with everyone! She left about 11:30 this morning to go to Hilary's house, where she and Brook and Hilary took over 5 hours to get ready!!! One of our college girls did their hair and make-up. It was very important to her that the whole family show up for the big event. Joshua and Jen had gone by and picked up her corsage for us. When I went to put it on her she didn't want to wear it and Joshua said "I went and got that for you!" So, thinking her BROTHER was responsible, she proudly put it on! We didn't tell her any different! She is going to a party after homecoming and spending the night with Hilary, so we won't hear the details until tomorrow. She's waited a LONG time for this day and planned for a LONG time too!

January 23, 2007

Yesterday Bob and I got in his big red truck and he took me to the airport to head home to Florida. Last year at the same time we got in the same big red truck and headed to California to spend a week cleaning out mom's house-the house where we moved when I was 13, the house where she lived for 30+ years, the house that is the source of many happy memories for me. This picture was taken the morning we were leaving Lancaster and I had walked into the back yard for the last time, closing another chapter. I thought I was getting up really early, but found Bob had been up a long time and already had loaded the whole truck. It was a beautiful sunrise, but also a very sad moment for me as we drove away from my childhood home for the last time.

January 21, 2007

In 2006 we were celebrating mom's arrival in Heaven! We released balloons after her funeral, and in my heart I really was able to celebrate. So, here we are a year later! On Sunday, Bob, Renee, Donna and I went to church in Phoenix. It was a gloomy day, rainy, cold, and cloudy. One of the songs we sang said "No one on this earth deserves the praises You are due." That's just how I felt. We have not only survived this year without our mom, but we have seen God be completely faithful. The pastor started his message by referring to the rain and saying that rain brings new life. I just kind of felt like we were washing away the old year and celebrating where God is going to take us from here.

January 20, 2007

This is how we spent a lot of time during this trip to AZ. This is Alice, Bob, Donna, and me, looking at old pictures and trying to figure out who in the world the unmarked pictures are of, and when they were taken! We had to make phone calls to our sister, Nancy, and to our uncle-mom's brother that is 2 years older than mom. It was a project, but we completed it the best we could!

Wickenburg, AZ

Donna and I drove from Kingman to Phoenix on Jan. 18, and on the way we passed through Wickenburg, AZ. We stopped to shop at a little Christian bookstore. I have to say that I enjoyed being back in the state of my birth, the mountains, and even the cactus! It all has a special beauty of its own. This was an interesting site that we saw! This was an older man, driving this team of horses, and it looked like he lived inside the wagon. It was kind of refreshing to see a glimpse of a more simple life!

January 18, 2007

When I first knew that I was going back to Kingman, I knew there was something I had to do while I was there. These three ladies were the ladies that did mom's dialysis the whole time she was in the Kingman Hospital. They are Shelly, Judy and Irma. All three of these girls went above and beyond each time they came in contact with mom. They became our friends. Each one chose to come in and say goodbye to mom, and left in tears. They felt our pain and they honestly loved mom. I had to go back and thank them for caring, for being real, for being committed to their "job." I called up to the hospital when I knew I was coming into town, and immediately, Shelly knew who I was, and remembered mom. I made an appointment, when it was a good time for them to have a few minutes with us, and Judy even came up to the hospital to see us on her day off. Donna and I went, and even though it was hard, it was a blessing to see them again. Shelly said she hoped she could be like mom-someday, Judy talked about how mom reminded her of Gracie Allen, and Irma talked about how mom just oosed with the love of the Lord. Last year Jason was also working there. He was a "traveling" nurse and is now gone. Mom adored him, and he was so presious with her. Each of these played a special part in our story. They make me want to go the extra mile, to be the best I can and do more than is expected of me. They are our friends, and we will never forget their love and encouragement and care. Through this process, I realized that I won't ever forget mom, but I don't want other people to either. This visit proved that mom won't be forgotten, she touched their lives while she was here.

Thanks, Mom

More than anything else, thanks for giving me the assurance that I know where you are and that I will be there one day too. You made it clear that church was important, and a relationship with Jesus was what mattered more than anything else. Thanks for the Pepsodent smile, always finding the bright side, for laughter and for being able to laugh at yourself. Thanks for teaching me how to TP houses of those that I loved, and for laughing when I hemmed all your dresses and made them mini-skirts so you'd be in style. You defined commitment, you never gave up and a promise wasn't something that changed when the situation did. You taught all of us to love animals. You loved Cary like he was your own, and you were always our greatest cheer leader. You always supported and encouraged. Thanks for listening during all the long distance calls to three little ones reciting Bible verses. You taught me that giving was the greatest blessing I would ever know. Mistakes happen, but you pick up and go on, never cry over spilled milk. Other people may have had worms in their cereal this morning, but don't let that cause you to have less than the right response. Thanks for standing up for me when I was in the 5th grade. You sacrificed a lot for me, you were always willing to do whatever it took for my well being. Thanks for all the Easter Bunny letters. Thanks for teaching me the joy that comes from believing in those that the world has no patience for. You always saw the good in people. Thanks for taking me to see the shut-ins on Monday afternoons and taking the flowers from Sunday's service to them...to brighten their day. You taught me they had so much to give, so much love, and wisdom. Thanks for all the peach cobblers, and for sharing the recipe. Thanks for letting me go next door and wash dishes for Mrs. Williams after we got a dishwasher and I was deprived of the pleasure at home! You understood and supported me when I had to leave the country, even though you never left America yourself. You prayed for me. You taught me to love America, and to appreciate all that we have and to recognize the cost for it all was very high. Nothing was ever more important than people, relationships. Because of your choices, I had a wonderful dad, and thanks for letting me help pick out your wedding ring! In the last few months of your life, when I would get up to help you all during the night-thanks for always saying "Thank you." Thanks for all the times that I jumped out of bed seeing your light on and thinking I had not heard you call-only to find you reading from your devotional book. You never complained, just did the best you could with what you had. Thanks for saying "Now, girls!" Thanks for all those final words, last conversations, heart to heart talks in the hospital. Some of your last understandable words were about the candy police and I'll always smile when I think about it. You made us laugh until the very end. Thanks for the last present you left for me. Thanks for hanging on and giving the five of us a reason to be together and bond, for leaving us with each other when you had to go. I'll never get over you. Thanks, Mom.

Mom's Last Day

It may sound kind of funny, but mom's last day was a great day. My day started with God answering a prayer, a prayer that seemed far out of reach, impossible, really. I wasn't expecting it, and I certainly wasn't expecting that I would be the one God would use in answering my prayer. I had the opportunity to tell mom about it, knowing she was alert and understanding every word I said. I know that mom and I had shared the same request, and even though she couldn't talk, I know she was praising God! Donna and I read to her from the Bible. Later that day, we were all around her bed and we started singing. It seemed like we sang forever. We sang every old hymn any of us could think of. I watched as mom's chin would move, trying to sing along with us. Cary called in the afternoon and I held the phone up to her ear so he could tell her goodbye. She was alert and I know she heard him. I have said many times this year that if I could choose how I die, I think this was the perfect way. She was very aware of our presence-all of her children were there, she knew that God had once again been faithful and answered our prayers, her children surrounded her and sang her favorite hymns. To me, it just seems like the way I would want it to be. About 8:00 that night, she went to sleep and we never knew if she knew anything going on from that point. I stayed in a chair next to her and held her hand all night. I wanted her to know she was not alone. By the time morning came, I was begging God to take her home. I could not understand the purpose in her hanging on when she was so ready to go-even though I think I do know why now! It was about 10:00 in the morning and we were gathered around her, waiting. I finally whispered in her ear to let go, to go and be with Jesus. She only took two more breaths after that. They told us her hearing would be the last to go, and while I may never know if she heard me, I will always believe that she did. God ordained her days, even before there was one of them. Her work on this earth was done!

God DOES Know best

At this time last year I had arrived in LasVegas and was on my way to the hospital. With every breath I was praying that mom would not die before I could get there and say the things that I needed to say. I was the last one of the five of us to arrive, and the next few days were filled with the five of us keeping watch. I went directly to the hospital and never left until after mom died. Mostly, we were all there, other than short breaks. It was hard to see mom like she was, even though I do not believe she was ever in pain. We just watched her get worse, alot because of her refusal for dialysis. I have wondered many times this year why she had to hang on for those last few days. Now, I think something bigger than any of us could realize at the time was going on in that room. Yes, mom was in the process of leaving us, but she was the one thing we all had in common and God was using her to allow us a time to bond as siblings. We are separated by many years and miles. In that room, we spent more time together than we ever had, and probably ever will. I know that what was happening in that room was a blessing to mom, and I pray she heard the laughter, and somehow knew that she was a part of something big that was taking place.

Arizona Arrival

I left Florida on Thursday, the 11th, and flew to Las Vegas. Donna picked me up there and we spent the night with her son, Matt. Yesterday we shopped in Las Vegas before heading to Kingman, AZ. As we approached Kingman, we found out that it had been snowing there! I had to take this picture for my Kaylee. Someday, Kaylee, you WILL see it for yourself! I promise!
Last year at this time we knew that mom had the VRE infection again, she had started refusing dialysis, and Donna had told me I had better get back. It was a year ago today that I watched Carissa play her last basketball game, before flying out the next day. I do not think there has ever been a time when I was more proud of Carissa. She finished STRONG, making 22 points during that game and making 5-3pt shots. More than that, I can honestly tell you that during those four years I never saw Carissa display the typical attitude or anger over her sport. She always represented her Lord well, as well as our family, and herself. I have missed the ball games this year, and I know it will never be the same without being able to watch my own child on the court!

Home Again

About 10:45 last night, the whole group that had been skiing arrived back in Ft Myers, welcomed by family and friends, and NO media! We were prepared and expecting them, but they left us alone and we were thankful. The accident was very much in our local news and newspaper, but last night would have been the first direct contact with the ones who have already been through so much. I have been very proud of the way this has been reported to the media through Cary, our pastor, and some church members. I think it has been made very clear that we believe this was nothing less than a miracle. Today life has been a bit more like normal. The phone calls are dying down and we have had some down time. Several of the kids had Dr. appointments today, and several of them started back to school after having to miss the first day. All seems to be well, and getting back to normal!

A Long Day

Well, enough excitement for me! Cary and Carissa, along with 15 others from our college group have been skiing in Colorado. Tonight, they were supposed to be home. However, this afternoon, while headed to the airport, the bus they were in went off an embankment and rolled. We have been told that it was a miracle that there were no fatalities. All of them, along with the bus driver, were taken to hospitals and checked out. At this point, it seems there are no critical injuries and everyone will be fine. It has been a long and busy night, but I am so thankful that everyone is physically alright. I'm praying for all of them tonight, it was a very tramatic experience and I am sure they will all be re-living it for a long time. I'm also thankful for friends, the ones that you call and they are at your door before you know it. We had lots of support almost as quick as it happened. Once again, God has protected our own. Last year at this time Cary was home from skiing, mom was already back in the hospital for the final time, and we knew that her surgery had failed. In my heart I knew that she was giving up and heading Home. I am glad that God numbered our days before there was one of them-all we have to do is live out what we've been given. I think mom had a part in deciding when she was going Home, but the outcome of today's accident could have been much different. Live today as if it were your last.

For you faithful readers...thanks for hanging in there! I really think most of what I write is just for my own benefit. It helps me put my thoughts in black and white. I might as well tell you, it will be a year since mom's death on January 17. That is where my thoughts are these days. I will fly home next week to be with family, as we celebrate the fact that mom is in Heaven. Tonight, before church, I told a friend that I was going home next week, and why. I don't remember her exact words, but it was something along the lines of "Celebrate" or "Have a party." I know everyone grieves differently. I'm not even really sure I could describe to you how I am grieving. I do know I am convinced that God works every detail in our lives, puts our thoughts and situations together. I've been thinking alot about how wealthy I am lately. Usually those thoughts come in relation to a mission trip, where I have seen the poverty and know full well how blessed I am. I haven't been out of town, but I have been feeling like I have more than enough clothes in the closet, blessed to be loved, have plenty of food in the pantry, and enough money to do what I want. I went to Starbucks this morning. Silly, really. I have too much. I can tell you for sure, my mom was a giver. She loved to give and she was a giver long before she really had the means to give. She KNEW it was more blessed to give than to receive. I have been thinking alot about her "little girl." From the first day I arrived at the hospital, she was always talking about her little girl. She had adopted a little girl from World Vision, had been supporting her for quite sometime. She was always wanting us to look for the last letter from her, or make sure her Christmas check had gotten in the mail, or showing us a picture she had drawn, or wanting us to change the amount that was coming directly out of her account. Her little girl was VERY important to her. When mom died, another family member took over the monthly gifts to the little girl, and it felt really good to know that this little girl that mom loved so much was staying in the family. Tonight at church we had Tony Evans and his son Anthony. Yes, the famous ones! Anthony is very involved in World Vision, and gave the opportunity for people to adopt a child. So, right there in church, I celebrated mom's life, I had a party, I adopted a little girl. I didn't have to think about it, God had already been at work in my thoughts. There was no decision to be made, simply a choice to obey and celebrate at the same time. Her name is Olanda, she is 4 years old, and she lives in Haiti. It just seemed the appropriate way to celebrate! Oh, that I can give the way mom did!

Christmas Guard Dog

I've told you how much Spike loves Christmas. But, it really is hard work for him. The first photo is him guarding the presents, making sure no one moves anything that jingles like a bell. He loves jingle bells! The second photo is him guarding all the goods as I gathered them up to pack them away for another year. He really hates to see them go! It's been a long Christmas season for Spike! It's a big job, but someone has to do it!