Goodbye to 2006!!!

Another New Years Eve. I found myself reflecting on 2006 today, probably you did the same thing. If I were honest, I would tell you my first reaction is that I am very glad to see it go, and I hope I don't ever live through another year like it. It has been a hard year for me. Some of that is documented, some is not. I know many people have had it much worse than I have. In the end, I found myself being very thankful for this year. Over and over again God has proven Himself to be the God that I believe Him to be. I have heard it said so many times, and yet, with all sincerity, I can say I don't know how people survive life without Him. When it appeared I was all alone, He was there. I was never alone. Nothing touched my life that He didn't know about first. He held me when I thought I could not stand another minute. I have felt His arms around me. Because of His faithfulness, I can trust Him more today than I did yesterday. I saw Him do miracles. Because I can look back on this year and see how I have changed as a result of each situation, and how He showed Himself to me, I can say I am glad I have walked where I did this year. He heard my prayers and He did what no one else could have done. He could always see the whole picture, He had the bird's eye view. He took me where we went together, just so that we could be closer today than we were last year at this time. Each difficult moment only made Him push harder to show Himself in my situation. To show me that He WAS there, and He DID care, and He wasn't going anywhere. Faithful. He just simply is.

Gingerbread House

Kaylee has been very busy over Christmas vacation. She has been babysitting most every day. Yesterday, we finally got her to stay home with us for a while and we made a gingerbread house. We tried that several years ago and it was more like a national disaster. You know, one of those times when you are supposed to be having fun, but you are NOT! It was terrible, and we ended up throwing it in the trash. I went to great lengths to be sure this little kit was a bit more workable! We DID have a good time and it turned out so cute! We got it done just in time for...Kaylee to go babysitting!

Joshua's 21st Birthday

Yesterday was Joshua's 21st birthday. We had wanted to make it really special, but it was a difficult thing to do! We left for Tampa in a borrowed vehicle with a bit more room than we are used to traveling in. Joshua thought it was just so we could be a bit more comfortable. We had a late lunch mid-way with all of the Robinson clan. Joshua thought we had a late lunch because we were having a late dinner. Then, we went to the outlet mall and did a bit of shopping. Joshua thought we were killing time until we went to dinner. Then we went to ANOTHER mall. Joshua thought we were killing MORE time before dinner! However, at this point, I dropped everyone off at the mall and went to the Tampa Airport where I picked up Jen. Jen is Joshua's girlfriend, and she had been in Michigan for Christmas. They talked earlier and Joshua thought her phone was going to be off for a while so she could go to the movie with her dad. Jen and I braved the holiday traffic at the airport and came back to the mall to the designated meeting spot, and the rest of the family came out of the mall and just like magic...Joshua found Jen! NOW, we were off to dinner! We went to Burns Steakhouse in Tampa, where we had 8:45 reservations. We waited a bit later than that, but finally were seated for the birthday meal. Burns is a very famous place, and a bit more than our normal! It is not something the Robinson family would do very often at all, but it is a wonderful experience and certainly gave us a good reason for Joshua to THINK we were going to Tampa! Of course we had the borrowed car to be able to fit in Jen and her luggage, and we had plenty of time to kill before her flight came in! Jen had her phone off while flying, she didn't make it to a movie yesterday! The whole day was planned around picking up Jen in Tampa. We love Jen and she seems to be a part of us, and Joshua sure is happier when Jen's around. We had a great meal and made some family memories. We wanted this day to be something for Joshua to ALWAYS remember, and I think he will. He was very surprised and very happy to have Jen back home!

Happy 21st Birthday, Joshua!!!

21 years ago today...oh, it was an event! I was in labor and Cary lost his mind! How in the world did we ever make it to the hospital??? But then how in the world did this 7lb, 5 1/2 oz. baby grow into what you see here??? God. Only God. He has had his bumps, bruises, and stitches. Some inside, some outside. Joshua has turned into the sweetest young man, very sensitive and caring. From the moment Joshua entered this world, he has been a tool that God has used to change my relationship with the Lord. I will always remember holding him the night he was born and wondering how God could have given up his only son-and allowed Him to die on a cross-for me? How could anyone send their son to die? The love I felt at that moment was something I will never be able to describe, and it only grows! I remember him sitting on Cary's lap while Cary read his Bible, picking flowers for Carissa, adoring Kaylee, and the first Christmas present he bought for me all by himself. Probably one of my favorite memories would be when he was about 3 and he would often look up at the clouds and ask if I thought THAT was the cloud that Jesus was coming back in. He listened for the trumpet. He had a firm belief and expectant spirit! Joshua has a strong personality, and I cannot remember a time when we haven't told him that God had big plans for him. We have always believed that, and we are expecting God to finish what He has started! Joshua has not had the typical birthdays, obviously we did not plan his birthdate! We hope to make today a very special day, but I'll have to tell you about it tomorrow! I started praying Philippians 1:9-11 for Joshua many years ago, and I am committed to keep on, believing! Happy Birthday Joshua! I love you more than you can ever know!

Saying Goodbye

This is a picture of mom with the young man who did her dialysis in Kingman. His name was June. This will forever be a memory engraved in my mind. On Dec 26, 2005, my family left to come home from Kingman. It was a pretty eventful day. I was dreading it, knowing I was leaving mom again, but at the same time, she was doing well enough that I didn't feel like I was really saying goodbye. She was walking some with the walker and doing therapy, we were expecting her recovery. Donna ended up having a detatched retina that day and Nancy, (my other sister that was there to help) took her to the Dr. That meant that Cary and I had to take mom to dialysis and drop her off there, and then head to Vegas to catch our flight home before she was finished with dialysis. We had been together almost 24/7 for 6 weeks. We had a blast, and shared many heart to heart moments. We had talked about the possibility of mom coming to visit us in March, and it really seemed like it could be a possibility. We got mom to dialysis and June came out in the waiting room to get her-meaning it was time. I told mom that we would plan to see her in March and she shook her head "no" and then started to cry. It was in that brief second that I realized she WAS telling me goodbye, and I was completely unprepared for it. Mom was never one for much emotion, she always held everything in. She somehow knew what was ahead and knew this was her last goodbye. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to walk out of that place and leave her there. All of a sudden there were things I wanted to say and there was no time-June was waiting-right there in the puddle of tears! Poor guy! Well, we left and got back to Donna's and found out that her retina had detatched and she had to get to Vegas for surgery. We all loaded up, went back by dialysis to tell mom that Nancy was in charge-I did not go back in-and off we went. I remember getting to the airport, and after all the flights, all the time apart from my family, Cary asked if I should really be leaving. I had to. It was going to be really hard on Nancy-Donna would not be able to do many things and Nancy would be forced to, but I had to come back home and try to find out what my own life was like again. Of course, it wouldn't last long, I would be headed back yet again in just a few days. This day was probably the hardest of any I can remember. The last words she said to me were "I love you" and I know she did! I did make it back in time to tell her the things I wanted to, but of course by that time she was too weak to talk back to me. I know God was good to give us the opportunity to say goodbyes, many times people don't get that opportunity, but it was a hard thing to do.

Merry Christmas!

Yes, we made it through yet another Christmas! We got up this morning, opened our stockings and had homemade apple muffins! Our friend, Frank, came over to eat with us and visit for a while. We had a nice meal together-I cannot believe I forgot to take any pictures! I made sweet potatoes, brocolli and rice casserole, strawberry salad and corn to go with our Honey Baked ham. I loved being able to eat on my Christmas china! The girls played cards in the afternoon, and had mom and dad in on it before the night was over. Spike and Joshua kept things a little exciting-playing with Spike's new toys! It was a very nice, quiet day.

Christmas Eve 2006

Well, here we are! This morning we went to church with Joshua, had our traditional chicken salad for lunch, went to the Christmas Eve service, then to the Propp's party and home to open our gifts. It's been a busy day! We have had rain and heat today-making humidity! Florida just isn't your typical idea of Christmas weather! They say we will have record heat tomorrow! Last year we were all in Kingman, AZ for Christmas. My whole family was there and also all of my siblings. We had Christmas together on Christmas Eve, so everyone could get back to their own families for Christmas. It was very cold, but mom really wanted to go to the Christmas Eve service. While we thought it was very possible that it was mom's last Christmas, we had no idea just how few days she had left. She had not been able to go to church in a while, and I think now that she probably thought that night was the last time she would be able to go. It was a special day and a wonderful evening, a sweet memory.

Everblades!!

Yes, I am a hockey fan. I don't have much interest in any sports-unless my kids are playing, but I do enjoy hockey! Only a true fan would be out at a game the night before Christmas Eve! I took the picture of Santa and Swampy as proof. Swampy is the mascot for the Everblades team. We actually have three of the guys coming to our ministry now, so we had connections tonight! We won tonight, 4 to nothing! We had a great time!

Total Commitment

This is my favorite place. When Cary and I are on a cruise, I can sit on the back of the boat for hours, just watching where we've been! Actually, I'm always looking for dolphins. I just think if I'm out there with them, I should be able to see them! In all our cruises, I've never seen even one-not for lack of trying! Just before one of our cruises, I had found this verse from 1 Chronicles 16:9...God is always on the alert, constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to him. I realized as I sat there for hours, lost in my looking, that God was doing the same thing only not looking for dolphins, but for people who are totally committed to him. With all my heart I hope he sees me when he looks! There is no better place to be! It is such a blessing to belong to Him!

My friend, Frank

This is my friend, Frank. Actually, I call him my boy friend. He is 93 years old, and is in great health, is as sharp as a tack, has the most wonderful sense of humor, and a heart of gold. I go visit him whenever I can, or sometimes he calls and asks me to come by. I love to go because I know I will come away with so much more than I can give. We met the day of his wife's funeral-they were married 73 years. Even that day and in those circumstances, he was full of joy and made me laugh. When I visit him, he tells me about his Bible study and what he and the Lord have been talking about lately. He still gets a ride to church each Sunday. He told me today that he's closed down two Sunday School classes. "I was in that class and everyone died and they closed it down, then I went to another one and everyone died and they closed it down too! I just don't go anymore!" I really don't like to think about being around when I'm 93, it makes me tired to think about it, but if I am, I hope I can be like him. He is such a blessing to me and I am very thankful that God isn't finished with him yet!

Happy Birthday Tracen!

I am so glad I have already told you about Tracen! This morning, I was in the grocery store when my phone rang and it was Donna. Now, there are times when we normally call each other, considering time changes and free cell phone times. Monday morning when it is about 8 AM there is NOT one of those times! I paniced. Donna's first words were "I have good news!" She knew she better calm me down quick. Why do we always think the worst??? Well, it seems that Tracen asked Jesus into his heart last night! She got to be the one to pray with him. These are the moments we live for and pray for! God has used a very faithful grandmother in this little boy's life! Congratulations Tracen! I am so proud of you! The angels are rejoicing, and Granny too!

Laughter-good medicine

Today marks the anniversary of the hardest I have ever laughed in my life. It didn't start out as a particularly funny day, last Dec. 16th. Mom had to go in for surgery-yes, after FINALLY getting to bring her home and have her there for a few days. We left the house at like 5AM, it was VERY cold and windy. Notice I said LEFT the house-that's after getting mom presentable and taking care of all her meds and diabetic rituals. She had surgery to connect two veins in her arm that would hopefully later allow her to have dialysis done from that location. (We would find out later that the surgery had failed.) It was one of those surgeries that totally depends on how things go, so we had no idea what to expect as far as to when she would be out. So, Donna and I were at the hospital all day, once again. I have already told you there is usually trouble when Donna and I are on the loose together. This day was no different. The nurses kept giving us things to take home with us, and so at one point, to kill time, I took a load of stuff to the car. When mom finally got out of surgery, she had to go to dialysis-that was across the parking lot from the hospital. Now, remember, she has two broken hips, and when she comes out of surgery, they tell us she can't bend her arm or hold any weight on it. It would have been nice to have some warning about that! Three out of four limbs completely un-usable! Well, Donna and I decided that rather than to load mom in the car, it would be better to roll her wheelchair across the parking lot, and put off the task that would sooner or later catch up with us-putting her in the car with her using one arm. About this time, she is late for her scheduled dialysis appointment, and we realize that her clothes were in the bag that I took to the car. So, the plan was that we wrap mom up in warm blankets, I would take the car to dialysis, Donna would roll mom across the parking lot, we
would meet up in the bathroom in the other building and dress her before taking her up to dialysis. It seemed like a good plan to us, saving us the time of going back down to the car and bringing up her clothes. Didn't Lucy and Ethel's ideas always seem like good plans??? Mom insisted on wearing her scarf, gloves, hat and SHADES, (that means sunglasses) as she always called them. Are you picturing this in your mind??? So, off we went, each with our own assignment. I started laughing as soon as I got to the car and saw the sight being pushed across the parking lot. It only got worse. We met up in the bathroom as planned and I cannot tell the rest of the story for the world to see. I can tell you that Donna and I got tickled and it all went downhill from there. I'll never forget our poor, helpless mother saying "NOW, GIRLS!!!" She had no defense, no weapons, no control, totally at the mercy of two children with the giggles. I somehow think that mom is sitting in Heaven laughing about this whole production herself! It was a moment! We did finally get her to dialysis, a bit late. I would wake up in the night for days after this and get the giggles all over again. Over the past year, I have had to wonder what the point of this day was. It was a really hard day on mom, in the end, it served no purpose. Recovery was hard. It took both Donna and I to do anything with mom as long as she was limited to one arm. It took both of us getting up with her during the night. Yet, this day will always be a very vivid memory and, I think the laughter of the last three months of mom's life is something she would not want us to forget. Mom's life was about laughter, about finding the "bright side" and many times, laughing to keep from crying, I'm sure. We laughed everyday, usually till we cried. We made the best of the time we had together, even though it was in a hospital. There was the day they came to take her staples out of her hip and she asked for some "cocaine" so it wouldn't hurt so much. Then, realizing that wasn't right, she said "novacaine." There was the day Donna was going to the bank to get mom some cash and also going to Walmart to buy her some more underware. Donna asked if 200 would be enough, and mom thought she was talking about the underware, not the amount of money and she said "Oh, no, I don't think I need THAT many! I wish I could remember all the times we got the giggles. Some stand out more than others. This day will never be forgotten. Laughter...it IS a gift.

Christmas Shopping

Have you ever gotten to go shopping with someone's money??? That's what I was doing a year ago today. Mom had been telling Donna and I that she wanted to get everyone some nice piece of jewelry for Christmas, and for us to be looking when we were out and about. This particular day, we had to take mom to have a brace fitted for her foot. Outings were hard-mom had two broken hips, a wheelchair, and little energy. Donna and I were ready to go home after the trip to the brace place, but mom wanted to stop by Pennys first. Well, think about it, she had hardly been out of the hospital in two months, hadn't been able to go shopping long before that! Now she had a chair to sit in while shopping, and two girls to reach everything she couldn't! We said she was like a two year old in a stroller-reaching and grabbing and wanting everything in sight! We were worn out before she ever made it to the jewelry counter! And that little jewelry lady had NO idea what had rolled up to her counter and was going to make her Christmas commission a real nice one! Mom picked out something for all her kids and their spouses, and for all the grandkids that would be with her for Christmas. She didn't care about the price, she just wanted what she wanted. We would think we were done, check out and write a check for her to sign, and she would think of someone else she wanted something for. Before it was all said and done, I think we had checked out three times, each time writing a check. We finally made it to the car, got her in and the wheelchair put away and she remembered someone ELSE she needed to get something for! So, I got out and went back in, picked out something else and wrote yet another check! Funny thing was, my brother was already taking care of her business, and he thought it seemed a bit strange that SHE had written all these checks for large amounts, and she had to answer for it!!! My sister and I knew how important it was to mom to get something special for everyone, and we knew it was because she didn't know if she would make it to see another Christmas, but we never had the slightest notion that we only had another month with her. Mom loved to give, but she was always very careful with her money. That day she spent a wad and loved every minute of it, and I think she knew she couldn't take it with her. This picture was when I opened my jewelry on Christmas and she insisted that I look surspised!

Carissa!

I think you have about met the whole family, except Carissa. Carissa graduated from high school in May. I find myself missing the life we had with her at this time last year. Carissa played basketball, and our life revolved around her schedule. Last year was hard because I missed so much of the season while taking care of mom, but I was here for some important basketball events! I'll never forget her last game, it was the night before I left for Az. the last time, knowing mom wasn't going to make it. She performed on the court like never before, she went out giving it everything she had, like she does everything. It was a pretty emotional night for me! Carissa is our quiet child, but she is such a blessing to us. In this picture, she is with my blog instructor and her husband-David and Kathy. They went to our church when Carissa was born and they kept her from the time she was 2 weeks old. Of course, they also did their share of watching Joshua too.

Just last night I was overwhelmed with God's goodness. Family. Friends. People that touch our lives. Relationships. So many people touch our lives and change us forever. God is good!

My Baby Boys

These are my baby boys! The bigger one is almost 21, the furry one is 12. Spike, (the furry one) LOVES Christmas! He loves his stocking, all the jingle bells, and the kitchen is a pretty good place to find him about now too! Most of all, he LOVES his big brother! Joshua, (the bigger one) will soon be 21. He's pretty handy to have around. Like yesterday, when Kaylee sent me a text message and I didn't know how to read it. I had to take my phone to Joshua at work and get him to show me how to do it. Technology. What a pain! Doesn't this picture just make you want to hug both of them???

Meet Claire

This is Claire Hutchcraft. The girls have babysat her since she was born, and now she is three. She has an older sister, Grace, she is in second grade and is seven. Claire is the definition of personality. She is nothing but pure joy and laughter to have around. Sometimes, if my girls are busy, I GET to play and we go on Chick-a-lay dates! Claire was here right after we got the rocking chair in the house and she loves it too! Last week when she was here she decided that our family should move our beds to her house and we could all be ONE family! She's a thinker and covers all the details! The whole Hutchcraft family is a blessing to us. They are great friends and neighbors and wonderful encouragement to my girls.

Mom with all Five of her Kids

This picture was taken on Christmas Eve, last year. I do not ever remember all five of us being together at Christmas-if we were it was when I was a baby. As you can see, we are a bit spread out in age! This was the second time I had been with my family on Christmas, since we moved to Florida 22 years ago. We had a nice day together, ate a lot, had an ornament exchange, and made lots of pictures! Starting at the bottom left and going clockwise - me, mom, Donna, Bob, Alice, and Nancy.

Tribute to Donna

This is a picture of my sister, Donna, and my mom's cat that Donna inherited, Twinky. Donna had a birthday last week and I didn't get to write about it. I heard mom say on more than one occasion that Donna and I were like twins, just 8 years apart. (She's the older one.) We have always been very close, and it was really hard for us to be apart on our birthdays this year. Our birthdays are just a week apart, and since this was the first one without mom, it was pretty rough. Last year we were together, even though we were in the hospital with mom. She is much nicer than I am, just ask the nurses. I was out to get action, she was always just nice. If we are together, there will most likely be a lot of laughter going on, sometimes it is appropriate, sometimes not so much! She has more patience than ANYONE I know, and she has always been the one person I would most like to be like. She is a Christian, very active in her church. She hung in there and practiced the piano, unlike me. She plays and sings at her church and does about a hundred other things too. Many miles seperate us now, but there will be a day when we are no longer apart! Whatever we have walked through, we have always done it together and supported each other. She is the best sister anyone could hope for.

Meet Tracen

Meet Tracen! Tracen is Nathan's son, Nathan is my nephew. Tracen lives in Kingman, AZ, so we got to spend a lot of time together last year at this time. He has the most beautiful smile, and here he is showing off the gingerbread house he made at school. It didn't have a roof on it when he got home. He ate it! Tracen and I worked long and hard on improving his writing. We spent lots of hours doing homework. We loved the time we spent together, and he improved SO much! While I was there I got him my favorite book, The Crippled Lamb, and I got to read it to him. Tracen, I love you and miss you so much! Keep working hard and keep smiling, but most of all, remember that God has a special place for everyone!

Mom Comes Home

On Dec 4, 2005, we finally brought mom home to my sister's house. At this point, mom had been in the hospital since October 20. We were all a bit weary and tired of hospitals, ready to be at home. This picture is of Donna, braiding my mom's hair, like one of us did every morning. This was a very happy day for us!

Kaylee sings at Epcot

There have been so many things I have wanted to write about, but we have been away from home a lot, unable to get to the computer. Last Monday morning, November 27, Cary and I drove to Epcot to hear Kaylee's school choir sing. I knew they had to audition, and I knew it was an honor to be chosen, but I was totally unprepared for what happened. I was expecting to hear Jingle Bells and Frosty, but I did not. They were a small part of a choir of about 300 people. There was a guest narrator, John O'Hurley, who read the Christmas story, from the BIBLE, from conception to the resurrection. (We are told he was in Seinfeld and was also in Dancing With The Stars, 1st season.) The music was ALL Christian-some familiar, some not. I am always moved by sign language, and they had a man interpreting who obviously KNEW the one he was talking about very personally. Of course there were the lights and decorations and the 100% Disney hoopla. It was nothing less than a night of worship and a wonderful way to welcome the Christmas season. Kaylee is in the next to the last row, the forth person from the right end. I was proud of Kaylee, but I was also thankful to be a child of the King and to be caught off guard and lost in worship. I love it when God just reaches down and blows you over! It was such a blessing!